I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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