I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
