I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
