I just saw a hot homeless man
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
