Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
