Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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