Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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