I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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