Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
