that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
