I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
