Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
