So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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