How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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