went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My ass is underappreciated
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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