You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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