If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My dick has a subreddit
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
