Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You need Xanax blowdarts
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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