I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I need moral support for this bender
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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