i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
