I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
