this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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