We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
