using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
