you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
