I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
