So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
