I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
