there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
