if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize