And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
