Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
