God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
the gays at disneyland are vicious
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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