clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
