My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
home. puking in laundry basket.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
