For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
