how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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