You really coming over, don't trick.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
