And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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