in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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