Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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