White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
