he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
