I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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