Whod you bang
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
