The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
