Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
