I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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