You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
