"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
