DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
