So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize