"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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