I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
